What if it’s time to see courage as something more then as a means to broaden the comfort zone?

I wonder how many times I’ve seen the little picture (and even shared it myself) of a little cloud named ”your comfort zone” and then a little dot, far away from the cloud and there is a black arrow pointing at the dot, saying ”Where the magic happens”.

There is some true to that. But not the whole truth. And sometimes, maybe more often then we are aware of, that the magic happens within the comfort zone.

We are all conditioned, one way or another, by our parents, society, religion and school. And one way at looking at personal development, is that it’s purpose to BREAK us free from that conditioning, to be who ww truly are, to get in contact with our essence.

My experience is that I needed to handle some of my fears, to be more free to be me. But not through breaking, not through overriding my boundaries totally, but to approach my fears in a somewhat safe way.

I needed to learn what is only happening in my head, and make a distinction between fear and danger. It’s not dangerous to stand in front of an audience, but it could be very fearful. 

I remember that I, as a teenager, was really scared speak in public, but I still did, trembling inside. And then I decided I needed to learn to stand there, not being so filled with fears in my head, and I ended up writing a book on public speaking, which actually sold in some 15.000 copies. And at the same time I led workshops on public speaking, and during this process I learned to handle my fears. I was definitely courageous, but I did this transition in my pace, and on my terms. 

When leading the workshops (with many women as participants) I started by saying this mantra: ”Be kind to yourself, take any opportunity to practice and know that you are good enough”.

Some 15 years later I realized that it was really good to say this, but the person needing to hear it the most was probably me.

So to meet life and situations and being both courageous and kind, is a manageable way I think. And sometimes the most courageous thing I can do is to actually say a clear NO. 

It’s so easy to say yes to things, not to be seen as a coward, or as someone who isn’t interested in the magic - but maybe some of the courageous actions we see, is in reality a sign of fear (I need to do this, to succeed with this, to proof something to the world… and If I don’t I’m worthless.) What if your worthiness comes from truth, kindness, stamina, and listening to that inner voice of yours?